You were the first child to two first-borns. This meant you had two sets of over enthusiastic first time grandparents. they blamed your parents for everything that went wrong with you. In the first year I was a hassled mom, trying to live up to everyone’s expectations. I forgot my own circadian rhythm and danced to your tune. Only I began to realise, it spoilt you.
You were a very sharp baby; at two years you knew exactly how to get your way. How you wailed harder when the grand parents were around and stayed calm when no one was looking. Increasingly grew obstinate and demanding. I finally decided, it was time to show you, who is the boss? you needed some discipline. Whether you remember or not this is what I did.
When you were two
• If I said no it remained no, your crying didn’t improve the situation. Even after half an hour, throwing your legs in the air, rolling on the floor it remained a no.
• If you ignored an instruction, I looked away and talked about things you loved, you were forced to listen.
• You loved bananas, you got them only when you held my finger and kept your toys back in place. The bananas waited on the table for you to finish.
When you turned five
• If you didn’t greet or thank our guests, who brought you gifts, I kept them.
• There was always a prize for behaving in the mall. You could take all the time to choose your gift. I peacefully shopped, when you got confused between many things.
• You had to behave yourself in a party or a restaurant. In case you forgot, I took you to the restroom and warned you in privacy away from public eye. Next time you knew what to expect when I said ‘Let’s go to the toilet”.
• If you thought you could pinch cookies when I watched T.V. or read, my special invisible magic eyes followed you. I had told you stories and weaved yarns about my magic powers.
• The day I saw you slip a candy in your pocket, I told the friendly storekeeper to catch you. He scared you enough that you ran to me, never dared to steal after that. This the way I nipped the stealing problem in the bud.
• First time your teacher summoned me; I gave her my cell number. Next time she could check if my illness was the reason for your not doing your homework.
When you turned a teen
• You can’t go on asking for money or wasting it, I give you a pocket money. You think you are rich but find you are poorer. Just manage your birthday gifts, confectionary and stationery shopping in the allowance.
• If you slept late, your problem. I will let your father shout and wake you up for school.
• If you keep your room messy, I make a messy meal. Keep it clean; you could get me to bake a cake.
• I encouraged your friends to brag about their adventures by listening, rolling my eyes and gushing over their excitement. It gives me a fair idea, what their ‘friend’ is up to.
• Every time you were caring or gentle I granted your secret wish, you think I didn’t know!
• If you don’t help, it’s my mommy right to nag.
So dear that’s the way you trained me to be a Mom. After all it’s so tough to raise parents these days. Thank you very much; it helped me raise your two younger sisters into well-behaved, dependable girls too.